Missing Weed Found Safe And Sound

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After reporting a large bag of marijuana to be missing a few days ago, the weed’s owner, Gary Graham described to us the blind panic he felt over losing the weed, commenting, “I just shut-down essentially, I mean, I really didn’t want to buy any more.”

Mr Graham recounts having bought the weed on Sunday after having gone out the night before and needed something to ‘perk him up’ as he was feeling rough. His nightmarish ordeal began the following day on Monday, Gary arrived home from a hard day at work, sat down and wrapped a rizla around some of his recently acquired green herb before proceeding to spark up the joint and smoke it down to the roach whilst watching the 6pm showing of The Simpsons on Channel 4. After laughing for some time and drinking a glass of Coca-Cola, Gary got up and went to the toilet, that was his first mistake, his second was not paying any attention to where he’d put his weed.

“It was gone, poof, it may as well have been Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 because I just wasn’t finding it,” laments Gary, before going on to say, “I checked my pockets, the sofa, I even shoved my hand into the toilet.”

Gary admits to having panicked for a few hours before even being reduced to tears then going to bed, defeated.

After a few grey, weed-less, dreary days working on the production line and going home and watching TV with nothing but a beer or two per night, Thursday rolled around and Gary’s luck was about to change.

“I was putting me pants to dry on the radiator at the top of the stairs, and lo and behold there it was! Just sitting there as if it didn’t know I was even looking for it,” exclaims Gary. Gary, never one to give in, has turned his failure into a triumph, telling me how he feels it has made him stronger and even jokes about writing and having an account of the ordeal published.

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